Funny as a Heart Attack - Part 2

'Cuz if you can't laugh at a little cardiac arrest, what can you laugh at?

Recovery

Once they got the artery propped open again with the stent, I started doing really well. The only pain I had was swelling, tenderness and bruising in my leg where they went into the artery, and around the myriad of IV lines in my arms. The irregular heart rhythm I'd had all morning evened out, so they didn't have to put in a little defibrillator like they had been considering doing. (When the doc told me my rhythm had improved, I asked him if that meant I'd be a better dancer now.) My blood pressure and heart rate were both good.

My oxygen levels were a bit low, so they had me on oxygen for a couple of days. "And here I've been using my own lungs like a sucker." (That's Homer; just like with Steven Wright, there's a Simpsons quote for any situation. In fact, that Tuesday in the hospital I turned on the TV and it was on. It happened to be the episode where Dr. Nick performs heart surgery on Homer, so right there was half an hour of relevant lines I could use.)

My recovery has been quite remarkable. After two days in ICU, they were ready to move me downstairs to the regular cardiac ward, but there was no room, so they kept me there another day. Then they were going to let me come home on Thursday, but the docs added one more medication, so they kept me another day to see how I reacted to it. There were no problems, so they discharged me on Friday, five and a half days after my attack.

I've recovered so quickly, in fact, that I think some people suspect I faked the whole thing just to meet some nurses. If that was my plan, it was genius. It was certainly nice to be paid attention to by so many smart, beautiful women. I did feel a little cheated that about a fourth of the nurses were male; but they were pretty cool guys, and all of the nurses, both male and female, were excellent at their jobs.

As far as exercise goes, they let me get up and walk around the second day after the attack; the only reason they wouldn't let me get up before that was to protect the artery entry points in my leg. After they moved me out of ICU, I did a few pretty long sessions walking on the treadmill. I did more treadmill work the week I got home, then the week after that I got back to the gym. This week I've done some running on the treadmill.

The only restriction they gave me when I left the hospital was to not do any heavy lifting for a couple of days, again to allow the holes in my leg to heal. They told me I could return to full activity as I felt up to it, and I've felt up to everything I've done so far.

Causes

The main cause appears to be hereditary. There's more family history of heart disease than I was aware of, and the genetics have a much greater influence than I realized they could have. But then, I can't blame it all on heredity. I've been too heavy for quite a while now. (In fact, Jer's two-year-old son Gage has this thing where he comes up to me and pushes my belly in because he thinks it sticks out too far.) I've also known for a while that I have high cholesterol, and have been on medication for it. But although I've put a lot of effort into losing the weight, I have been expecting the medication to do most of the work in getting my cholesterol levels down. Apparently there's some flaws in that strategy.

The timing of the attack surprises me. I'm not talking about having a heart attack at 39, although yes, that was rather unexpected. I'm referring to the fact that I would have been less surprised if this had happened at the start of the year. In the three months preceding the attack, I'd lost 20 pounds; hadn't eaten fast food or drank carbonated drinks (soda); had been exercising pretty regularly; and had reduced what limited stress I had at work. And yet after all that, I had a heart attack! Well, lesson learned - I'm going back to the stuff I was doing before!

Changes

For many years I've claimed to be a meat-atarian (long before the Wendy's commercial). It just seemed to come naturally as a result of my being a vegetable rights activist. (Have you seen the conditions on those farms? Those poor things are raised in the dirt!) I told one of my doctors I'd try to limit myself to one bacon double cheeseburger a day, but I couldn't guarantee anything. He didn't find that nearly as funny as I did. Come on, Doc, lighten up a little.

All joking aside, I do need to get my cholesterol under control. The doctors have changed the meds I'm on to help do that, because the stuff I was on wasn't really working. But now instead of watching caloric intake like I was doing to lose weight, I need to pay attention to the fat and cholesterol numbers. I suspect as I focus on a more low-fat, low-cholesterol diet, the weight thing will take care of itself.

Luckily, the transition to a healthier diet is going to be a lot easier than it would have been without the regimen I've been on this spring. Still, it makes me sad to think I have to give up having a whole shelf in my fridge dedicated to cheese. Sigh.

What I've Learned

The main thing I've learned from all of this is that daytime TV is awful. Another equally important thing I've learned is that it's really important to know your family health history.

Other than that, I really don't know that I've learned anything. I know that sounds like I'm either being flip or arrogant. But I already knew the things you'd think someone would learn from such an experience; the experience was just a jolting reminder to stop and think about those things.

I already knew that a healthy body is a miraculous blessing. I don't think I've ever taken my good health for granted; I thank God for it every day. I'd already made good progress at not letting things get me annoyed or frustrated. I'd already started making time in my life for more things that are truly meaningful, and cutting out some of the frivolous things on which I've wasted so much of my life.

I already knew that I have so much to be grateful for. A few people have expressed to me that they're sorry I'm in such a terrible situation. While I appreciate the sentiment of what they're trying to express, I honestly don't think I've been dealt a bad hand, not in the slightest. I have a good job that I enjoy. I don't live in poverty. I get to pursue my interests and hobbies. Sure, I missed out on playing lacrosse this summer, but I'll get back to it soon enough. Sure, I have to cut out some foods I enjoy, but I'm in no danger of going hungry. Sure, I had a heart attack, but I haven't even briefly experienced the kind of pain that so many people deal with on a daily basis. I have great relationships with my family and friends. The list goes on and on, I could easily fill another lengthy blog entry with it.

Sometimes I think people expect me to be more zen-like since my brush with death. In actuality I'd already been pondering what's really important in life; maybe that's due to my rapidly-approaching 40th birthday. The insights I've gained are highly personal - not meaning they're necessarily private, but that many of them are realizations each person has to come to on their own.

As a closing note, just let me thank all of you who have offered positive thoughts and prayers on my behalf, as well as any assistance I might need. That's certainly something that belongs on the list of things I'm grateful for. And let me assure you that I'm doing well, feeling good, and hoping you are also.

One last thing...

You didn't remind me to tell you the second thing that kinda freaked me out. In the ER, I was concerned because for the longest time it seemed like the only one who would talk to me was Haley Joel Osment. No, I'm just kidding, here's the real second thing...

A couple of days after I got back to my house, I looked on my DVR for something to watch. I discovered that I had recorded the series finale of Eli Stone on Saturday the 11th, from 9 to 10 pm. The episode was about a couple of heart patients, but that's not what freaked me out about it. In the last commercial break, there was a commercial for LifeFlight and IMC, right at the very time I was having my heart attack. Weird, right?